I don't think anyone could hate running more than I did/do.
Not because of the endurance...I loved pushing past that pain and experiencing a certain nirvana.
Not because of the intensity...I love breaking out in an extreme sweat.
But because I feel very self conscious about the way I ran. I mean, if I pound the pavement people would see me pound the pavement. I didn't like people watching me exercise.
However, after coming back from a family reunion where I was poked and prodded and comments like, "Oh, she gained weight and [my sister] lost it," and "She's the fat twin now," I began to wonder whether or not I had let myself go. I realized that my one year of graduate school, stress of teaching, working on the weekends and my new romance (which failed miserably) allowed me to eat, eat and eat. And it wasn't until 2 weeks ago, when I stepped on the scale at Publix (Hey! You have too...admit it) and it read 145 lbs that I knew I needed to change.
145 lbs and feeling every pound!!!! How in the hell did i let it get that bad?
Well, I actually know the answer to that question. Every time I announce I'm going to lose weight, I've always been told that I looked fine.
"You have the perfect shape."
"That's not love-handles, that's ass-meat."
"I love your thick thighs."
But, I've come to the realization that I want to lose weight for me. I want my body to look a certain way and that's ok. It doesn't mean I don't love myself, I just want to better myself.
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| My Body-Idol: Teyana Taylor |
I'm going to run a 5k which is equals to about 3 miles in October and I'm extremely excited.
I'm pushing my insecurities to the back of my mind and going for it! Besides, have you ever sense an fat runner?
By using the Couch to 5k Program, I found a regimen that is easy to follow and makes me feel really good about the hard work I'm putting in.
I can't wait to get that lovely runner's body!!!!
Or a body like Teyana Taylor's. :-)
