::My New Challenge~~Running a 5k::

I hate running.

I don't think anyone could hate running more than I did/do. 

Not because of the endurance...I loved pushing past that pain and experiencing a certain nirvana.

Not because of the intensity...I love breaking out in an extreme sweat.

But because I feel very self conscious about the way I ran. I mean, if I pound the pavement people would see me pound the pavement. I didn't like people watching me exercise.

However, after coming back from a family reunion where I was poked and prodded and comments like, "Oh, she gained weight and [my sister] lost it," and "She's the fat twin now," I began to wonder whether or not I had let myself go. I realized that my one year of graduate school,  stress of teaching, working on the weekends and my new romance (which failed miserably) allowed me to eat, eat and eat. And it wasn't until 2 weeks ago, when I stepped on the scale at Publix (Hey! You have too...admit it) and it read 145 lbs that I knew I needed to change.

145 lbs and feeling every pound!!!! How in the hell did i let it get that bad?

Well, I actually know the answer to that question. Every time I announce I'm going to lose weight, I've always been told that I looked fine.

"You have the perfect shape."

"That's not love-handles, that's ass-meat."

"I love your thick thighs."

But, I've come to the realization that I want to lose weight for me. I want my body to look a certain way and that's ok. It doesn't mean I don't love myself, I just want to better myself.

My Body-Idol: Teyana Taylor

So, a week ago at my internship, I received information that the organization was hosting a 5k run/walk and a light bulb came on.

I'm going to run a 5k which is equals to about 3 miles in October and I'm extremely excited.

I'm pushing my insecurities to the back of my mind and going for it! Besides, have you ever sense an fat runner?

By using the Couch to 5k Program, I found a regimen that is easy to follow and makes me feel really good about the hard work I'm putting in.

I can't wait to get that lovely runner's body!!!!

Or a body like Teyana Taylor's. :-)

::My name is Natalie and I am a Facebook Addict::

My name is Natalie and I am a Facebook Addict.

Like numerous young ladies out there, I have been addicted to Facebook since my incorporation. Updating my statuses on trivial matters and posing in my Webcam for the perfect Facebook profile pic was part of my daily life. I also scoured my newfeed just to see what others thought, to see what they looked like and to see if their life was a perfect as I tried to make mine.

But, 6 years later, i realized that my addiction was one that needed to be stopped.

A new study came out stating that Facebook causes "low self esteem," and I am inclined to believe that. Why? Because I've been battling with low self esteem from some time and Facebook hasn't really helped. Aside from the drama that I've experienced during Facebook phases, the social networking site has done nothing but threw my already fragile confidence into a tailspin down the abyss. Granted, all this was because of me.

It was hard looking at everyone's smiling profile pictures and wondering why I wasn't so happy.

It was hard seeing the relationship statuses being doted with those infuriating hearts, the comments of "Who is he?" and "Awww," coupled with 24 likes and wondering why I wasn't in a relationship.

Again, my confidence was already fragile do to some traumatic experiences...I wasn't ready for the life that social networking entailed.

So, I quit using Facebook regularly. And it has been the best decision of my life.

::The Black Community and Weight Loss::

I want to lose weight, but my community won't let me!

Here's how I figure. In the Black community, hips, ass, breasts and thick thighs represent the ideal woman. That's what Black guys want. They want a photo-shopped video vixen, the surgically enhanced video vixen. They want their women to be thick, but not fat! Please don't let her have love handles...or a chubby stomach...

No, they want that video-vixen...the chick on KING Magazine that has been photo-shopped...that's their ideal girl.

I've been bouncing around the idea of losing weight for the past couple of months. But every time I think about it, I tend to wince at the idea of losing my hips, thighs and newly acquired ass.
A couple of weeks ago, I was talking with my friend. She has been trying to lose wight, but she also stated that she didn't want to lose her butt and her hips.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard stories of a black girl trying to lose weight, but her family state: "You're black, you're supposed to be that size," or "Don't listen to that doctor. You're being compared to the white standard," or the most popular, "You're not fat, you're thick!"

Why do we as the Black community believe that it's okay to have an ass, thighs and hips at the expense of our health? Do we not know that our ass and hips and all that good stuff also comes with the love-handles and muffin-top? And the heart disease and diabetes? And, not to mention, the declining mental health and depression (because we don't work out).

No, I'm not saying that we should compare ourselves to White, Hispanic and Asian women. But we shouldn't try to continue the stereotyping of our bodies either because at the end of the day, that's what we're doing.

Perpetuating the stereotype.

:: Rules of Caking/Talking--What I've Learned ::

I'm not a serial "caker." LOL

I'm not always talking to some guy...there's not always a new boo (ugh, I hate that word) in my life every week.

When I decide to give a guy my precious attention (and that's after serious contemplation by asking the right questions and observation), I'm not talking to them out of boredom--I usually have an interest to be in a relationship with them sooner rather than later down the road.

So far I haven't had any luck yet :-) ; however, I've learned key elements throughout each of my experiences that makes the next one a lot easier.

1.) Know what you want.

Don't go into this all willy-nilly, whichever the wind blows you go. Know what you want in a significant other and that's not just physical. Do you want that person to be independent (meaning not up under you all the time), funny, charismatic, artistic...

Whatever qualities you want in a significant other, you should be looking for while you're talking to a person. But know that you may not get all the qualities you would like... and some of them vary in degrees. But that's OKAY! That makes a person unique.

2.) Do not tell your life story too quickly.

If you tell him about all about yourself in the first 2 weeks, what is there to look forward to? It's always best to SHOW not TELL. You can say, "Oh, I like to like to write!" or you can let him call you and when he asks you what you're doing tell him you're writing. Then, he'll think he's discovering more and more about you as the weeks go on.

It's always best to leave him wanting to know more about you. Surprise him!



3.) OBSERVE and LISTEN

We women...we talk to much, I'm just gonna say it. We do. LOL And when we meet a new guy, we're always the ones talking. We aren't listening to a guy and we're not observing his actions.

If you meet a dude and are actually LISTENING to what he's saying, instead of looking at his pecs, muscular arms and tight ass... you just might save yourself a lot of heartbreak. My mom always says if a guy says he's a certain way, BELIEVE it! Don't try to change it. (Oh, that's another blog post right there!!! LOL).

This next and final thing I've learned was not through my experiences, but through the experiences of others...

4.) NEVER EVER tell your sexual history to a guy you just met.

That's just common sense!

If by the second conversation you guys are talking about sex most of the time that means he either wanted to have sex with you in the first place OR you told so much of your sexual business that he's curious and is placing having sex with you instead of getting to know you as a higher priority.

You're giving too much away too fast! Leave a little to the mystery, okay?

I think I'm gonna have to do a whole series on these cause I can definitely go into detail!

Stay tuned! :-)

:: Nice Guys Finish Last? Just an Excuse.... ::

I can't tell you how many times I've heard the phrase, "Nice Guys Finish Last," from various dudes who have been rejected by more than 1 woman. They speak as if women are pushing aside guys who open doors and pull out chairs for them for assholes who devalue them and treat them as side pieces.
And that is not the case.
I would argue that there is something little more complex to this "nice guy syndrome."

Maybe it's not that these guys to are too nice.... maybe it's because these nice guys have an extreme case of feminine energy.

I'm an extreme observer of people... it's my favorite past time. :-) I have a habit of feeling people's energy, especially men. So this is what I've found out regarding this subject....

Now there is feminine energy and masculine energy. A man with masculine energy would be Mr. Macho, "take charge," agressive, breadwinner type... A man with a feminine energy is usually a lot more passive and senstive.

I would put a lot of nice guys in the catergory of a "feminine energy." Many nice guys are passive and extremely senstive--or at least they seem to be.

Women tend to go for the masculine guy, the man they believe will protect and provide. Women do not like men who seem to be timid and insecure i.e. the nice guys. We don't like any sign of weakness i.e. the nice guys. We are not attracted to weakness. NEVER. EVER. EVER.

It's like when a female animal is trying to find a mate.

se's not searching for the male animal that lost the battle. She's looking for a mate that will 1.) protect--fight for her and 2.) provide. And when it comes time for both male animals to flex their muscles in the arena it is the aggresive one that wins the girl, not the one that was passive.

Not the one that cries more than her, not the one that whines about the last girl that did him wrong and not the one that will whimp out when it comes time to fight--and leave the girl to fight on her own (I've seen that happen before LOL).

Yes, it's perfectly fine to be a nice guy. We women like nice guys :-) But, fellas, you HAVE to show your masculine side once in a while.

No, we don't want you to throw us agains the wall and devalue us.

Women want to be powerful all day at work. Be the BOSS. Have prominence and prestige...but, when we come home we want to feel like a WOMAN, not a MAN.

:: You Might Be a Black Bohemian If.... ::

I saw this post from Beauty in Baltimore and thought it was pretty interesting because I've be coined as a Black Bohemian/Afrocentric/Hippie just because of how I looked and what my opinions were. There are 41 points, but I've decided to hit up just 5 I thought were pretty cool.

You might be a Black Bohemian/Conscious/Hippie if:

1. You are a black woman with natural/naputral hair and you absolutely refuse to use a chemical hair straightener or flaming tool of torture(blowdryer,curlers, hot comb etc.) on your hair.>> Now, I use blow dryers only because I'm not going to wait ALL day for my hair to dry so I can style it... Sorry.

2. You love and will STAN(D) for the following artists:Jill Scott,India Irie, Lauryn Hill and Erykah Badu.>>Heck Yeah!

3. You will cut a bitch for tickets to a Erykah Badu show. Furthermore, Erykah Badu is to black Bohemians and hippies what the Grateful Dead is to older white hippies.

4. You can speak standard English when you are with one crowd and Ebonics when you with another. All black people should be able to do this...

5. You are super liberal politically. You believe that what adults do behind closed doors is their business, but you want rich people to pay more taxes. Somewhere on your list of changes you would like to see Americans one day have universal health care, limited work hours and mandatory 8 weeks vacation.>> One sweet day :-)

:: When Keepin' It Real Goes Wrong ::

When Tami Roman joined the cast of Basketball Wives in Season 2, she added a much needed hype and drama about the show. The fact that she took on the show's anti-heroine Evelyn Lozada gave her the backing of many reality TV fans like me (I know, it's horrible. But I'm addicted to it LOL). Tami's attitude and the way she "kept it real," quickly made her a fan favorite.

The Season 2 Finale showed Tami FINALLY going toe to toe with Evelyn--physically. While many fans enjoyed Tami's addition to the show, plenty of fans did not saying that Tami was yet another stereotyping Black woman--angry, upset at the world, loud, obnoxious and always ready to physically fight.

During Season 2, I actually liked the role Tami played. She seemed sincere, as if she knew how quickly she can be angry but was trying to change. She had, had a hard life after her divorce from her ex-husband, Kenny Anderson, and was basically showing that it wasn't all glitz and glam being the wife and former wife of a basketball star.

Now we fast-forward to Season 3....

Where the sincere Tami has turned into the hostile Tami... ready to pounce on anyone that has a difference of opinion about herself.

WHAT HAPPENED?!

Did the Tami that the fans all knew and loved in Season 2 let celebrity get to her head, and now, like Nene Leakes from the Real Housewives of Atlanta, is actually comfortable playing the part of the Angry Sister?

As much as I love Tami, I've got to admit that her actions in Season 3 is not the actions of a woman in her 40s. You can be hostile and angry and ready to fight in your 20s, but by your 40s there should be some level maturity involved.

Tami, we know you like to "keep it real", sweetheart. Everyone woman keeps in real sometime in her life, but you don't have to be physical in order to "keep it real".

Now, we Basketball Wives fans have just heard that Meeka Claxton--the new girl in the "circle"--is suing Tami for physically assaulting her during the next episode of Basketball Wives.

My guess is that Meeka will win because the evidence will be broadcasted on national TV come Monday...

I guess this is when keepin' it real goes wrong....